In business, eye contact is such a critical part to communication. It’s stressed in every industry of face-to-face interaction and is a proven driver for customer service, relationship building, and the all around development of trust. Like most general business practices, I believe there is a value to applying this to avenues of our personal life as well.
I’ve heard parents say, “Look at me when I’m talking to you” when teaching a life lesson to their child.
Or have you ever gone on a date where there was no eye contact? Was there a spark? I wouldn’t think so. Sounds like either or both were disinterested.
What about when spending time with a friend – do you look at each other? Is it just a feeling of engagement? Of “speak” and “listen” or is it a greater feeling of “connection“?
Of course, many can tell when you might be “faking it”, so for the full, magic effect, it’s not just about a sweet tone or eye contact with a smile. No – that’s the minimum. It’s also about sincerity. A daily appreciation for being who and where you are, with whatever hand you are dealt, and a willingness to share that uplifting optimism with the world. You have to feel it for it to be real. I won’t dive into that part here, but I have a couple of other posts that talk about how you can find and feel that way for yourself here and here. I’m sure there are many more somewhere here on my blog. Let’s continue…
Let’s start with the skeptics; is it possible to have a “soul” and if so, is it possible for anyone to see it? There are valid arguments to be made for those who don’t believe in magic or feel that energy. Perhaps it’s the simple notion that eye contact implies attention is being given. It can also be the easiest “tell” sign of emotion that might be communicated openly. If body language was to be written, surely the eyes are a form of punctuation. Therefore there is no connection, no deeper meaning; it is an observation of intentions and thoughts. For the trained or experienced observer, it could be like reading someones mind through subtle details. A blink, glance to the left or right, squint or twitch – are you flirting with me? Was that a lie?
Read this in your Sherlock Holmes voice, “It was no energy reading or soul-speak, no; it was your nerves that betrayed you! In addition to the ink drop on your lapel of course.”
That’s certainly one option.
Through these eyes of a skeptic (see what I did there (see – did it twice)) we can also disprove “love” into a formula of endorphins, testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin. With these eyes, we can break down relationships, friendships, passions, sentiments, music, art, literature, happiness and straight up life into a binary of numbers that siphon any value from the precious gift that is life…
So, in the interest of being who I am, let’s continue to what is another. One filled with gratitude, love, optimism and light. A truth, if you will – perhaps it is yours?
Is it possible to have a soul and is it possible for others to see it? Well, if you’ve heard of auras, psychics, mediums, or to believe in ghosts, angels, love, most religions, etc. then you’ll know a few avenues that offer opportunity to explain the existence of a soul.
I once had an opportunity to spend some time with a Buddhist monk from China (maybe from Tibet, it was a long time ago). I’m not sure what he was doing in West Babylon for the six months or so I would see him. He was a frequent customer at my job and always came out of his way to see me. We would often have deep conversation about life, death, happiness, and the soul. He described humans as beings of light and the soul is the essence of our self; and the self is just our “love”. He clarified at some point that was both in a karmic and literal sense. I asked him once, how can light be love even if that was true? He told me to “ask the trees”. From all of our talks I learned a lot. I say learned because even though we were simply having a conversation, it felt as if I was being reminded of something I’d forgotten. I don’t remember his name, but I’ll never forget the light in his eyes.
What makes this old cliche something that withstands the test of time? What makes our eyes the “windows to the soul” and is there truly some deeper connection that we can only make with an interlocking gaze? I still don’t truly know, but I believe that there is a certain sensitivity for the eyes to reveal something within in everyone. What do you think?