Sometimes it takes ounce part of me to get through a day.
I act as my best self, putting my all into everything I do.
I’ll be the best version of a friend and be the friend I want to have; offer myself before being asked, available but (hopefully) not overwhelming. I’m not perfect, of course I’m not. But I’m saying I try to be my best self. And I know sometimes, I let people down.
I try to be the leader I would like to follow. Be positive, upbeat, motivational, factual, honest, transparent, and approachable. Have enough of the answers, ask the right questions, be open to feedback and look to learn something everyday that can better the team. Yet, I know there are those that would like to see me fail.
I try to be the partner that anyone would define as wonderful. Supportive, reliable, romantic, giving, appreciative, and loving. Not saying I’m always those things, but that I am conscious and genuinely demonstrating affections as much as possible. Investing every moment of myself into contributing and showing love that can be felt. I’ve heard life advise that says “say I love you too much and mean it every time” and Im living it! But I know there’s times where, regardless of my intentions, I create disappoint and hurt emotions. Which is Heartbreaking to a romantic like me.
I would love to say it doesn’t bother me. That being strong willed, confident, and being a regularly (maybe not right now lol) a positive force in the universe, is enough self-justification to say “I’ve done my best and I can’t please everyone”. And while there are times that it’s true, presently it’s not.
Emotionally, I’m a bit exhausted from the negativity around me today. I’ll get out from under the pileup, and recover by the time I wake up. I’ll be reset to myself, replenished with the optimism of “I can’t control the emotions of others, I can just be my best self here and now”.
But damn, world, I remember meeting so many every day angels in my life that picked me up, granted wisdom and opened my mind. Taught me everything about what are, I feel, the best parts of me. I have so much more to learn. Tell me something wonderful, let me know I’m not alone in trying to nurture something positive?
With love, M.C. Grimm