*Images credited to artist contributions at Pixabay.com*
Your car breaks down, lost your keys, partner says something rude, work is; well work… there is infinite source of stressors out in the world and I think it’s safe to say we encounter 100+ of them every day. What determines the quality of our day, of our life, and relationships is, as always; perspective. Our perception shapes how we react to the stressors and that in itself defines who we are and what we are capable of. Let’s dive in.
The outside things are largely out of our control. What happens around us, impacts from our environment, well those are just that; things around us. None of these stressors are who we are, so why allow it to impact how we feel? You might be thinking, “I can control my environment by not putting myself in it. (ie) I can avoid the anxiety of crowds by avoiding public places.” That’s right, you sure could. However, maybe that its treating the symptom though and not the cause? Might make grocery shopping challenging every week for you. Might make an unplanned visit to the hospital to save your life unbearable though. What I am saying, however extreme, is that we need to be adaptable. If the little things bring you down, make you restructure your day, or impact your mood; how will you handle the big things when you need to?
I had a car issue. Fortunately I am mildly fluent in automotive dilemas, still doesn’t eliminate what could be considered ‘stress’, but I’ll explain. For this particular issue, I had to bring my car in for service work one day and had an 8am appointment for in-and-out work. They call me just as I’m about to leave my house and tell me that they had some other jobs come in and need me to come in around noon. I needed this work done today and moved some items around my schedule to make it happen. Noon comes and I arrive, they say they meant to call me because it will be a wait, a few hours at least. Okay.
Now some people will say “It is what it is“. It’s the only cliche that I hate. I disagree, strongly. I feel it should be, “It is – what we make it to be.” So i decided to make it to be something wonderful.
This particular repair facility was located walking distance to the mall. The mall had a taco bell and a movie theater. I enjoyed a nice lunch and then went to see the very next movie that was playing, whatever it was. Turned out to be the King Arthur remake, so I had a good time. By the time I made it back to facility -bam- cars done. Now I know people that would let this ruin their day, complain about it, write a review about how inconvenient it was sitting in the lobby, and tell the story to their friends for weeks. I chose to talk about how it was nice to see an afternoon movie and enjoy some taco bell – although that’s something I enjoy anytime!
How do I know they’re insignificant? Because of those 99, probably only 1 of them was important to your big picture. You know what doesn’t matter? What you won’t even remember in a month? Dropping your breakfast, burning your coffee, running out of milk, forgetting that homework, changing that flat tire – don’t let it take away from a single second of your life, of your joy. Because you know what that can do? Let’s say it like this; you can say “I love you” a thousand times, but yell “leave me alone!” once; that will echo a thousand times.
There’s a lot of ways to manage stress. Exercise, meditate, constructive hobbies (not to be abused as coping mechanisms), progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), get a massage, trade massages with your partner, watch the sunset, call an old friend (and don’t talk about the stressors of the day, unless you truly need to vent). Allow those little things to break away, take a deep breath to take in the positive energies, and exhale about all those worries that are mostly; beyond your control.
This is what we need to do, take it in, fix it and move back into living. We need to break free! That means if 100 stressors come at you today, I need you to break free – 100 times! You are not a victim of life’s random happenings. You are not powerless; unless you choose to surrender your power to those insignificant stressors. You are human, you are powerful, you are tapped into the infinite of the universe, start using it!
Choose to be happy today and find that silver lining in whatever life throws at you.
Choose to make the most of that traffic and call your mom – she loves you.
Choose to show love and affection to your partner instead of re-watching that show – fan that flame!
Choose to see the light in the darkness. Choose to be the light in the darkness.
Choose to start today.
Choose to start now.